1) The best way to cut the budget is to cut taxes, mostly for the rich
2) The best way to cut taxes is to cut poor people, literally
3) New and Improved Tea Party! Now with more blind hypocrisy!
4) Obama is so evil he is actually able to be an extremist muslim, nazi, socialist, communist, kenyan that there's no need to notice that the ideals completely conflict
5) On the campaign trail, if you're in a position where a woman wants you to kiss her baby, run out of the room screaming to avoid sexual assault charges
6) The only true thing you'll hear in political ads is that Karl Rove is really made of Bacon
7) If you encounter a politician, do not attempt to reason with it, just keep your distance and contact the authorities
8) At the end of the day we're all on the same team... unless you don't agree with everything I say
